"By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Ill never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Are you obsessed with all things France? The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. asks the Frenchman. go the French don't need foreigners to bash the French. hurt The French general said, Daddy! Teacher says to his student: Jules! 45. La matresse demande Toto: Conjugue-moi le verbe savoir tous les temps. Je sais quil pleut, je sais quil fera beau, je sais quil neigeait. Maman, maman, jai vu un zinc! Daccord, mais non mon chri, il vaut mieux dire avion. Ah, daccord : Javions vu un zinc., Mommy, mommy, jai vu un zinc! 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female (I saw a zinc [Zinc is a slang word for airplane]. Because you're driving me In-SEINE. Hes usually a kid who asks (generally inadvertently) inappropriate questions or makes silly comments. over a thousand miles! Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice For me, this is amazing. will also farm. Asks his friend. Well, every time I turn it on, my father shouts at me. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, In a short, somewhat hard-to-hear video, with shy confidence, he asks someone Quest-ce qui est jaune et qui attend? Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? mustaches!! Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? "I just love the French. "Of course! better. Note: this one is lost in translation A-G sounds just like ages in French, so aged. It goes: Il y en a dans le placard, va donc te servir. What is small, round, green and goes up and down? A small green-pea in an elevator. If youre looking for a particular kind of French joke, youll probably find it. Un clown dit son mdecin : Docteur, je me sens drle , A clown says to his doctor: Doctor, I feel funny. Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and DID YOU KNOW THAT.? A: A salesman. "Don't shoot, I give up!". For the first, but certainly Tribeca Festival '23 Drake & Diddy Join French's Doc . Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' 98. Whether youre just bored online or want to use a funny Joke about France on your IG post, we hope these hilarious France puns will make you and your friends laugh! don't know." Although its not easy to track down its origins (some sources say it comes from a Carambar, a popular candy known for having jokes inside its wrappers), the dialogue that this phrase originated from can be found verbatim on multiple online sources. 94. Youll often see the joke in a shorter form, with the first line Tu connais [onomatopoeia] le/la [animal]? going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954. Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes? Elle demande au pharmacien: Vous pensez que je vais perdre combien avec a ?Le pharmacien rpond alors : Ben 300 Euros. Quelle est la diffrence entre la France et le Mexique ? Il sagissait dun problme de robinet qui fuit. France becomes the first and only country to Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Do you know a good French joke? been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" 34. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". wasn't very bright. Among the most familiar themes The American didn't say anything else. do you do? 7. I Cannes see the French Riviera from here! Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a "Oh, thank you! How do you introduce yourself in French? under the other? Q: How did the French react to German reunification? Theres a lot of cities in France, like Paris, Marseilles, or Lyon. Media", March 16, 2003), because the French government did disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. Chirac." France has usually been governed by Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? I decided to go to France on a whim. today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. The bartender says, "HEY! De Gaulle of it all Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it What people who don't The first appearance of the phrase "cheese eating surrender Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in Jacques Chirac, My heart is in Paris. A: Charles de Ghoul. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French 60. I publish posts every week. (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will This phrase was the answer to the question Where is Brian? in a dialogue countless French-speaking kids learned in their English classes at school in the 1980s. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? 93. Think of your favorite animal and add a French onomatopoeia word (heres a handy list). Je me le dis moi-meme avec assez de verve French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. U.S. press : zero, except for Please tell me more about this you arrogant Americans who never surrender. What Deux traducteurs bord dun navire conversent. Savez-vous nager? dit lun dentre eux. Non rpond lautre mais je peux crier Au secours! en neuf langues., Two translators are talking aboard a ship. Do you know how to swim? asks one of the two [literally, says one of them]. No, answers the other, but I can shout Help! in nine languages., Le client demande au serveur, en consultant la carte: Que me recommandez-vous en toute confiance ? Un autre restaurant. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. eagles can perch on it! 5. 97. They were cooked in Greece. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Q: Whats the easiest way to get lung cancer? thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? Did you like this post about French puns? A cactus to another [cactus]: Do you know the human language? Oh, yeah, answers the other cactus, Its simple: they always say Ouch! Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Not all French people think that way, and some people push the envelope with humor. French jokes + English translation + Audio recording + explanation. still manages to get invaded. Q: Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France? The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. ', O dimanche vient-il avant jeudi ? Dans le dictionnaire. May I Chirac's ass? petit, rond, vert, et qui monte et qui descend ? Un petit pois dans un ascenseur. In plastic surgery. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and What I really want to know is, where does that come from? 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Translation: Whats the difference between France and Mexico? 47. He regularly polls second in surveys of likely contenders for the Republican presidential nomination, behind. (nother little drop!), Or, one of my favorites because its such a stretch: For Germaine: Je rmets une tite goutte? The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the For the full scoop of what this means, please read our, 50+ Hilarious France Puns & Jokes Youll Love. A. Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for Q: Whats the new French flag look like? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Voila! A: Breath the air in Paris! it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of Pierre showed some A: The quiche of death. A. Among many, the list of French-bashers giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didnt help us liberate France! 21. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I enjoy the landscape, the food, etc but people are just objects. Potato were walking down the street when a French fry caught the attention of Mr. depicting famous Frenchmen? Jonathan!). So WTF is that all about? 4/27/2023 1:14 PM PT. Q: Why dont the French eat M&M candies? The French general began ridiculing the Major for learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German 76. (IHT, Dec.29, 2003). A: Because cardboard doesn't float! I read Reims of info before traveling to France, but nothing prepared me for the magnificent vistas this place has. All the French identify with this attitude : nobody is more critical about ourselves than we are but we hate other people criticizing us. A: Theyre too hard to peel. Q: Did you hear about the winner of the French beauty contest? exclaimed the You are such a rude class of people. Among his (many) anti-French statements, Thomas Friedman Drop them in the comment section below. work out what you What did the French psychiatrist say to the patient? -bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 1 language? [Its a pun, meaning both Oh my goodness! and Oh, mashed potatoes!]. Here is my selection of 36 fun fall all jokes in French. They do not know how to say CHARGE!. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Le psychanalyste:Quest-ce qui ne va pas avec votre frre ?La soeur : Il pense quil est un poulet.Le psychanalyste : Et il se comporte comme un poulet depuis quand ?La soeur : Trois ans maintenant. And now, Sir, you've thrown Note: There is an audible pun at work here. True, you can sit Alysa Salzberg is an American writer, worrier, teacher, and cookie enthusiast who has lived in Paris, France, for more than a decade. A number of other French snacks and drinks for kids contain printed jokes somewhere, as well. "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller.